Tips On Self Care – For Obese Women… or Anyone Needing Self Care

Tips On Self Care

As you have seen from my previous posts, I am all about self-esteem and body image when it comes to my plus size capsule wardrobe theme. Time and again, when I am doing research for my articles, I come across writers, designers, and models who have fought the scales all their lives and suffered the stigma of being overweight or obese. And time and again, these women have stressed that self care is one of the big things that made them strong enough to overcome all the issues that come along with being fat.

I myself have had to employ a lot of self care measures to get to a better mental state about my obesity. I wanted to share my tips on self care with you all, and hopefully help anyone who is struggling with obesity and depression. So please read my tips below, and if you have any others to share, be sure and do so at the end of this article.

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Tips On Self Care Personal Hygiene

I know for a fact that people who are depressed, which a lot of obese women are, don’t take care of their personal hygiene as well as they should. Just as you have a skin care regimen for your face, put in place a hygiene regimen that you don’t have to think about. I have a list of things I do, morning and evening, such as take my pills, brush my teeth, etc., that I have posted on my mirror in the bathroom. I stick to that routine every day, so I don’t forget about my personal hygiene.
Tips On Self Care


Exercise daily as part of your self-care routine. Even a 15-minute walk is better than sitting on the couch. You will be surprised at how much better you feel.

Change your attitude about exercise. I hate exercise. I hate getting all sweaty. I hate getting out of breath. I hate walking outside because of the bugs, the potential sunburn, and the cars and people everywhere. But I changed my self talk about exercise. I now tell myself what an amazing thing it is, that my body can walk from point A to point B, and that it can reduce my depression, and it can give me a sense of well-being, and it can be fun.

Tips On Self Care

Eat Right

Eat right for self-care. Eat well-balanced meals, with lean meat, whole grains, and fresh fruits and vegetables. You don’t have to count calories or be on any special diet. Just commit to fueling your body with the very best food available.

Cook at home to care for yourself. Home cooked food is so much cheaper, and better for you than fast food junk and oversize, overpriced restaurant portions. I do my cooking on the weekends, so that I can have a home cooked meal every day of the week. It works great because I only wash dishes once and only heat up the kitchen once, two of the things I hate about cooking.

I find that often, the taste of a food I’m craving doesn’t always live up to my anticipation of it. Ever since I had that revelation, for example, I have sworn off grocery store donuts. I haven’t sworn off DONUTS, just the ones at the grocery store. They look enticing but the flavor, the texture, and the experience of eating the donut just don’t live up to my anticipation of it. So why eat the fat and sugar if you know it won’t live up to your expectations? There are just a few shops from which I will buy donuts, and that is very seldom because they are out of the way of my daily routine. So, I have only the good donuts very rarely, It stays as a treat that way too instead of an everyday thing.

Tips On Self CareIt’s OK to indulge in the occasional treat so don’t beat yourself up about it. If you crave it, eat it. Denying yourself only leads to a lot of heartache and eventual overeating of that thing you crave. So, rather than beating around the bush, eat a small portion of the thing you crave and be done with it.

My daughter had a really good piece of advice about desserts. Eat three bites. The first bite is to satisfy the anticipation of the desert. The second is to enjoy. By the third bite, the anticipation of the desert starts to wear off. Have the third bite, then see if you really want to finish the desert. Chances are, you are only willing to finish the desert to clean your plate, rather than gain any enjoyment from it. I tried this experiment, and it really was true, that the subsequent bites weren’t as enjoyable as those first two or three. On this note, share our desert with someone. Then you really won’t be tempted to eat the whole thing.

Eat slowly with intent and no distractions. When you eat slowly, thoroughly chew your food, and put your fork down between bites, you are more aware of when you become full. So, turn off the TV, and just eat. Enjoy the experience of eating. It really is a cool thing!

Tips On Self Care

Change Your Attitude

Change your self-talk. Everyone has that little voice inside that says, “You’re not good enough.” Start countering that voice by changing what it says. Catch yourself when you start in on that negative self talk, and replace it with positive things to say about yourself. Change “you’re fat, you’re stupid, you’re ugly” into “you’re curvy and voluptuous, you’re smart, you’re beautiful.”

Make an “I love me” list on your phone. Start with 10 or 12 things that you like or love about yourself, and add to it everyday. It’s like the old hymn, “Count Your Blessings, Name Them One By One.” But count your many blessings and see what you have done for yourself!

Change your attitude about your body. Instead of mentally listing all the things you hate about your body, start listing all the wonderful things your body CAN do. Your heart beats about 115,000 times in one day or 42 million times in a year. In a lifetime your heart will pump over a million barrels of blood through your arteries and veins. That fact is simply amazing in itself. When you think of all the systems in your body doing what they do, over and over again for the 80+ years you are on this earth, it’s really cool to think that you are just sitting there with that going on in your life. Amazing, huh? Doesn’t that put your body image in a little different perspective?

Recite mantras. Repeating, out loud, positive notions about yourself or your life, is a great way to change your attitude about yourself for the better. Google a list of mantras, or come up with your own. Typically, my mantra is “I am beautiful”.
Tips On Self Care

Reduce Stress

Make sleep part of your self-care routine. There are links to poor sleep patterns causing both depression and weight gain. Have a routine bedtime and don’t mess with those electronics before bed.

Reduce Stress. Do deep breathing or yoga. Fix the stressful things in your life, like credit card debt, family drama, difficult job situations, etc.

Say no to others, and say yes to your self-care. It is important to set boundaries. You don’t have to be rude, just say no thank you. You don’t have to give excuses or anything else. Learning to tell people “no” can go a long way in feeling more powerful as a person.

Tips On Self CareTake a self-care trip. Take a weekend away from everything. Go into nature. Go to a resort. Do an activity you enjoy. Turn off the phone. You will come back rejuvenated.

Let a pet help you with your self-care. Sometimes taking care of an animal takes your focus off yourself and put it onto someone you love. Dogs offer unconditional love. Cats don’t care what you weigh or what you are wearing.

Take care of yourself by getting organized. It’s surprising how much better you feel when your stuff is all organized and you have a list and a schedule. Put your stuff away and your mind feels less cluttered. Write things down. Have a plan and a goal, and do your best to stick with it. I know I feel better when my clothes are put away, and I have outfits planned for the week, the shopping done, and meals planned. That gets rid of my morning stress because I can “throw and go” with my clothing and my packed lunch!

Have a “Down Time” day every once in a while. Eat and drink what you want that day. Rest. Wear your pajamas or sweat pants all day. Binge on your favorite TV shows, or play games on you phone all day. I know I need a lot of down time in proportion to my “public days” when I’m at work. It sure helps me once in a while to regroup.

Schedule your self-care time, and guard that time with everything you have. Don’t skip your workouts. Be religious about your bed time. Make meal time a self care time, and switch off the electronics. Put yourself first!

Tips On Self CareRead a book on self-care for self-care. Look into the Health at Every Size program. This is a system that promotes healthy body image, and teaches you to be healthy no matter what size you are. The program was evaluated in a government-funded academic study, and its data was published in well-respected scientific journals. It’s a great place to start for a person interested in treating themselves as they deserve.

====>Purchase your own copy of Health at Every Size by clicking here now!<====

Make your self care motto like the Loreal commercial. “I’m Worth It!”, because you ARE worth it.

And above all, do not be afraid or too messed up with yourself to ask for help. There are a lot of great health professionals out there that will help you without judgment or preconceived notions. Research them online, and go to the very best health care specialist. There are also free or low cost places to go to get help, so don’t let the cost of care deter you.

In Conclusion

I think these days that everyone needs a little self care. The world outside can be a mean and angry place, and we all need to take a break from it and center ourselves again and remember that we, as people, matter. If to no one else, to ourselves. So if you’re obese or not, or if you’re depressed or not, practice some self care today and feel better.

Please enter your questions and comments below, and thank  you for reading!

Psst!  Where did you get that outfit?

Visit my favorite  plus size clothing stores by clicking here!

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  1. Aabidah Ahmed

    This is a wonderful post you’ve written to help the woman out there struggling with obese and self-care.

    I have an older sister that has been struggling with this for years now, but it doesn’t seem to bother her, because she’s still not eating right to help her body to live a healthy lifestyle. Or maybe some woman doesn’t mind their weight. 

    Some women cannot help it and eventually they give up because they think theirs no hope.

    Thank you for this post. I’ll recommend my sister read through this. All the best.

    • RhondaLeigh

      Thank you so much for reading and sharing my information with your sister.  I hope she finds some hope and help in what I have written.  You are absolutely correct that some obese women give up because they think there is no hope.  Good self care is the answer to that.  Let the constant dieting go.  Let the killing yourself with punishing exercise go.  Treat yourself well.  You will feel better about your situation as a result.  Thank you again Aabidah, for reading, commenting, and sharing my post.  Rhonda

  2. Phil

    Hello Rhonda, 

    I was checking out for fitness and wellness information, and I came onto your site. I’m sort of building a review of websites likes yours. 

    I quite liked what I saw: actually, I think your advice is very sound advice for everyone. I suppose you put it in the context of your blog and illustrate with relevant examples, but other than that, really everyone would benefit. 

    Thumbs up then! Cheers, Phil

    • RhondaLeigh

      Thank you Phil for reading and commenting.  I appreciate that my tips would be good for everyone.  It’s great that my post showed up on your fitness and wellness search.  And yes, I did put it into context of my Plus Size Fashion Blog, because what good is fashion if you don’t have the confidence to carry it off?  Self care and self confidence go hand in hand.  Again, thank you so much for stopping by my blog and for your insights.  Rhonda

  3. Feochadan

    Oh, what a super-great article!  Although I am not technically obese, I do suffer from chronic depression and anxiety so almost everything in it is applicable to me as well.  Frankly, though, I think that TV has made all of us women feel that if we aren’t a size 8 or much lower then we are FAT.  I think most of us have gone through life thinking that we are obese just because we do not fit into Hollywood’s “norms” of what we are “supposed” to look like.

    This article is extremely well written and the topic spot on.  I happen to know this because many of the tips highlighted herein are things that my therapist hast told me.  SO, you really can’t get better information than that which is presented here.

    Good use of white space and pictures makes this article uncluttered and a joy to read.  I believe that every woman that has self esteem issues (which seems to cover most of us) should read this article.  I hope you don’t mind that I sent it to a friend of mine who is going through this as well!

    Keep on with this!  We could all use it!  Thank you so much!

    • RhondaLeigh

      Hello Feochadan, Thank you for reading.  I confess that a lot of these tips came from my therapist as well.   Again, I cannon stress enough to you readers out there, GET PROFESSIONAL HELP.  There is nothing wrong with seeing a therapist for your issues, and you will feel better for doing so, I promise.  And Feochadan, I really don’t mind you sharing; in fact I encourage it.  Thanks again for reading, and thanks for your very complementary sentiments.  Rhonda   

  4. Mike

    Excellent article. Wise advise. Timely. Important. 

    I too have been overweight most of life from 4th grade onward. For the most part, I’ve done all right, but now at an older age, I’m having to face the affects more.

    I do cook organic foods, eat fewer meals, smaller meals, focus on meats and soups and stews, fresh veg. I am passionalte about cooking, tasting, smelling, and sharing my food. The whole food experience is a wonder to me. I like your idea that if you eat well in right-sized proportions, you don’t have to count calories or get on a diet that we’ll probably abandon, make us feel bad, and go back to even more weight than before. Been there.

    I love your advice about desserts… Eat three bites. It is so true that the first is the dazzler. The second is the satisfier. And the third is the completion. All other bites are to finish the plate and therefore, unnecessary. 

    I drink strong, dark beer and nice wine. Sometimes too much. I could definitely use this same strategy here.

    And what you say about personal hygiene and exercising hit home to me, too. I can get kinda lax on that.

    You’ve provided me reassurance that I’m okay as I am, and that if I’m mindful of the wonders of food without overdoing it, I’ll be just fine.

    We do need to take good care of ourselves, as you say.

    Thank you. Great site.


    • RhondaLeigh

      Hi Mike, thank you for your comments.  I am not much of a drinker of beers and wines, so it didn’t occur to me to find hints on alcohol consumption.  I guess one thing that worked for me in my drinking days was to have every other drink be water or seltzer with a twist.  A little beer and wine is actually good for your health, so I’ve heard.  I guess that needs to be my next post.  There’s a lot of info on it.  I guess too that one of the self care tips is to enjoy a glass of wine or beer, but in moderation.  Thanks again, Mike, for visiting my site.  Rhonda

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